Sticks and Stones and PMDs

So I feel I have some explaining to do regarding my last post. Not an apology, because remember "Keepin' it Real" should be taken literally. But I wanted people to know that the terms used in the last post are just words. I think I have become overly sensitive to how people take my jokes. I tend to joke a lot and like to believe that a lot of times, I say what people are thinking but are afraid to say. I joke around so much that I spent the last 16-17 years in my Fat Elvis stage developing a layer of blubber. In other words, I have developed thick skin and think that we all need to do the same, although not literally, like me.

I have another confession to make. Today, when I was changing my daughters diaper, a ball of poop fell out when i was trying to wrap up the diaper. I casually picked it up with my bare hand and put it back in the dirty diaper. Didn't even think twice about it. Did I think I would ever be able to grab poop in my bare hands 21.5 months ago? Hell no, but as of today, i don't even give it a second thought.

So, I have been a father for 21.5 months and have learned a lot during that time. One of the things that I have learned the most about is poo. Those of you who have kids understand the importance of poo, and those that don't, need to heed my words. From the day the kid is born, you need to study their poop. It is about productive poo. You need to make sure it is a certain color and texture (by visual observation of course). Their poo will most likely tell you how they are feeling and developing. It is fascinating stuff. The one thing that you will never be able to prepare for are the PMDs or Poops of Mass Destruction. These things can cause significant environmental damage with long term consequences. They will teach you to breathe by only exhaling. Your kid may even try to test launch their PMD's and U.N. inspectors would need to be called in. The PMD's will cause you to try to consult with the President on developing a PMD non proliferation treaty. Probably a lot more than you ever wanted to hear about poop, but I like to share.