Chockit and Porcupines

First of all, I want to thank everyone that has been keeping up with the blog, it means a whole lot to me and I hope that it is keeping you entertained. We are up to 8 followers and I hope we can add more.

Sorry for the delay between posts. I was involved in the Haymarket Blogwriters strike. Thankfully, it was resolved peacefully. I heard that if I joined a union, I could make a lot of money by right of the union contract as opposed to earning it by putting out a good product. I mean I need to take care of my family, right? Speaking of union negotiations, Anita decided to put out M&M's in little Valentine's Day themed bowls seeing that Valentine's Day was about a week or so ago. However, with a 22 month old mobile kid, maybe it wasn't such a great idea. Ivana was running around demanding "Chockit". It got to a point where when she ate meals, we had to negotiate having her take a bite of lunch or dinner with offers of M&M's in exchange. The negotiations involved in dealing with a kid that age has to be tougher than union negotiations. M&Ms probably could be a useful tool to help get unions to come to the negotiating table.

I promised a discussion on bathrooms and office etiquette, so I wanted to start with my own bladder issues. I like to try to drink at least 8 cups of water a day. Therefore, I end up having to use the restroom relatively often. My first consulting gig with my current company was in a little town called Westminster, MD. It is about 90 miles from home and I stayed there during the week for about the first 7 months. Then I got sick of it and started to drive almost 2 hours each way every day just so I could be home every night. Therefore, with my water drinking habit and the fact that one night I woke up in a tub full of ice because some Eastern Europeans had removed my bladder and replaced it with the bladder of a squirrel, I sometimes needed to stop on the way home to use the restroom. Now public restrooms give me the heebie jeebies, because they are generally pretty disgusting. So, on one particular rest stop, I chose a McDonald's in Leesburg, VA. For my female readers, the urinals usually have some sort of "urinal cake", which is the thing that "Melman" from "Madagascar" thought was a mint that he got out of the NYC subway stop. So I went to the restroom and started doing my business. However, stuff started flying all over the place (I have a strong flow). It was like a porcupine ran into my crotch and there were holes in my "junk". It was a little more simple than that. They had put the "urinal cake" in upside down. The restroom at my current office is like that of a bus or train station. It's positively disgusting. Sometimes when I happen to use the urinal I have noticed items in there that shouldn't be in there like chewing tobacco, romaine lettuce or sunflower seeds. Yes, I DID SAY ROMAINE LETTUCE! I am thinking cheese and rice, is there some STD that i don't know about that cause people to urinate items like sunflower seeds and leafy greens???? I even put a sign on the wall that said "If you are urinating tobacco, sunflower seeds, or romaine lettuce, it might be time to visit the doctor." I'm going to leave this post at that. I hope to post again tomorrow as I know you will be eagerly awaiting the next fun topic.