B-Slapped!

At this point, I feel compelled to share the real reason why I started blogging. I want to become rich from it. I wanna be adored, I want to be more popular than Jesus .... Jesus Jones that is, the band that sang that song "Right Here Right Now". So please share with your friends if you feel this is entertaining enough. I have grand plans and the main goal is to entertain you.

My daughter bitchslapped Anita last night. I have known Anita for almost 11 years and I have never come close to raising a finger to her. Yet, my daughter bitchslapped her. It was a solid backhand that Serena Williams would be proud of. Ok, she did it unintentionally in her sleep, but it was pretty funny. Ivana has now become a nightly tenant in our in bed every night and by God, she has taken over. She sleeps sideways, upside down, diagonal, you name it. But it almost always involves some assault like a kick to the stomach or other "valued goods". It's a king sized bed yet Anita and I are on opposite sides clinging to the edge of the bed every night. Partly because of Ivana's sleeping habits and partly because of the fat elvis score (20 years). I told Anita when she married me that my body is kind of like a wonderland, it's moreso like a luxury resort undergoing a historic expansion. I hope you weren't eating something when you read that last sentence, because I even threw up a little in my mouth. I need to shed some weight. I have started though, I put in eviction papers for the small immigrant family that has been residing on my face: The Chins. Be careful, they have been struggling, so after they leave my face, they may try to find refuge on some unsuspecting person's face. Perhaps, near a major holiday or something like that.

I am going to leave you with this: I created an official Indian guy smiley modicon. @:) the turbaned indian smiley face.