I wanted to thank all the blog followers including the 9 who have joined since Friday. I really appreciate it and hope you are enjoying the blog. There are now 17 followers!
Anita's and my 7 year anniversary is tomorrow. I can't believe it. My friends probably can't believe that I haven't found a way to screw it up yet. Miracles can happen, believe me, I convinced Anita to marry me, right?
So, during my last post, I mentioned a tragedy that occurred with Anita almost 11 years ago. It was the night that Anita met me. So, during the first 7 months of 1999, I took my favorite Minnesotan, Prince seriously and partied like it was 1999. I had spent the decade of the 90's involved in 2 consecutive long term relationships. I ended 1998 a newly single man determined to take the new year by storm. The storm was called Hurricane Jason. There were many weddings and bachelor parties to attend, many drinks to consume and many ladies to, well, reject my advances. I was in accounting at the time, so lines like "I would like to depreciate your assets" or "I am taking inventory and I need to tag your ass" didn't fare too well. Let's say I had a great time trying though; I was like a lion on a hunt, a drunk, wordslurring lion. Speaking of lions, if I were a lion and I started a band, I think I would call it "False Pride". Anyway, all of these fun times led up to a wedding on July 31st at the Ritz Carlton in the Tyson's Galleria Mall. On that fateful evening my friend and the daughter of a prominent dentist in our "pride" was getting married.
The ceremony took place in the ballroom at the Ritz Carlton, so a group of like 15-20 of my guy friends and myself took our seats somewhat close to the back. We watched as people trickled on, always keeping an eye out for a hottie walking in. Most of the group were involved in a relationship, but hey, it never hurts to assess your options, right? I think my friend Shankar was the only married one. He happened to hoodwink a hottie into dating him and married her as quickly as possible. Eventually, this extremely hot chick walked in that none of us had seen before. All of our heads turned at once and I may have even let a groan slip out. She had long brown hair and was wearing a dog collar along with a hot looking Indian outfit. It was Anita ...
Stay tuned for part two in my next post
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
More Crap (warning: ethnic sterotyping may occur)
I know there are books about parenting, first time parents, etc, but we chose not read them and just "wing it". What can a book really tell you because shouldn't every experience be different? Do those books tell you that the proper way to determine if the kid has pooped is to smell their butt? Because, well, that is my strategy. In fact, last week I sniffed Ivana's butt to see if she needed a diaper change. Guess what she did for the first time in almost two years of my secret butt sniffing habit? She "tooted" in my face. I don't know when it occurred, but "toot" has replaced "fart" when it comes to describing an infant's flatulence. I am sure you are probably thinking that "jeez, Jason really has a fascination with poop, talking about poop, literally HANDling poop, smelling poop and so on and so forth." But isn't that what life is about? We deal with crap every day, whether it's our own bodily functions, the driving of Asian Americans, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, or Fox News or the Tea Party Movement (akin to a bowel Movement). It's how you deal with the crap that life hands you. Can I get an amen? I tried to slyly mention the driving of a certain ethnic group, but did you ever notice that if you go to a Walmart or wholesale club, the optometrist is a person of East Asian descent. It's almost a lock. So it brings to my mind the question that if so many East Asians are medically certified to prescribe vision correcting lenses, then why are so many East Asians so challenged at seeing other people on the road? I know it's a stereotype but I believe there are numerous studies that prove the "chink" in the armor of East Asians, is their lack of driving skill. Wouldn't it be funny to see a scene in a movie where somebody is talking to some rich guy that has a room full of ancient artifacts including a suit of armor? The person would tell the rich guy: "Ha! I have found the chink in your armor!" and then the suit of armor would walk next to the rich guy and open the faceplate thingy and it would be an East Asian dude. Jeez, i really digress and probably pissed some people off, but oh well. There are sterotypes about every ethnicity and I struggle every day with the stereotype that Indian Americans are super smart, handsome and generally perfect.
Anywho, where was I? In the last week, there were two times that I was halfway out the door and determined with my powerful sense of smell that Ivana's diaper needed to be changed. My nose is kind of a monstrosity, so it is capable of finding all the Fruit Loops in the rainforest. When you are trying to get out the door to go to work, and you smell a poopy diaper, you have a major decision on your hands. Do I let her sit in her own poop for about 40 minutes or do I spend at least 10 minutes changing the diaper (including taking off all the layers of clothing and outerwear that they have on)? I am sure those with kids have come to that crossroads at some point. What would you do? I subscribe to the school of WWJJD, What Would Jesus Jones Do? So "Right Here, Right Now", the diaper was changed.
Sometimes I wonder why Ivana hasn't been questioned by the FBI as the poop terrorist Ivana Bin Poopin.
Next post involves a tragedy that occurred about 11 years ago to Anita: the night she met me ...
Anywho, where was I? In the last week, there were two times that I was halfway out the door and determined with my powerful sense of smell that Ivana's diaper needed to be changed. My nose is kind of a monstrosity, so it is capable of finding all the Fruit Loops in the rainforest. When you are trying to get out the door to go to work, and you smell a poopy diaper, you have a major decision on your hands. Do I let her sit in her own poop for about 40 minutes or do I spend at least 10 minutes changing the diaper (including taking off all the layers of clothing and outerwear that they have on)? I am sure those with kids have come to that crossroads at some point. What would you do? I subscribe to the school of WWJJD, What Would Jesus Jones Do? So "Right Here, Right Now", the diaper was changed.
Sometimes I wonder why Ivana hasn't been questioned by the FBI as the poop terrorist Ivana Bin Poopin.
Next post involves a tragedy that occurred about 11 years ago to Anita: the night she met me ...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
B-Slapped!
At this point, I feel compelled to share the real reason why I started blogging. I want to become rich from it. I wanna be adored, I want to be more popular than Jesus .... Jesus Jones that is, the band that sang that song "Right Here Right Now". So please share with your friends if you feel this is entertaining enough. I have grand plans and the main goal is to entertain you.
My daughter bitchslapped Anita last night. I have known Anita for almost 11 years and I have never come close to raising a finger to her. Yet, my daughter bitchslapped her. It was a solid backhand that Serena Williams would be proud of. Ok, she did it unintentionally in her sleep, but it was pretty funny. Ivana has now become a nightly tenant in our in bed every night and by God, she has taken over. She sleeps sideways, upside down, diagonal, you name it. But it almost always involves some assault like a kick to the stomach or other "valued goods". It's a king sized bed yet Anita and I are on opposite sides clinging to the edge of the bed every night. Partly because of Ivana's sleeping habits and partly because of the fat elvis score (20 years). I told Anita when she married me that my body is kind of like a wonderland, it's moreso like a luxury resort undergoing a historic expansion. I hope you weren't eating something when you read that last sentence, because I even threw up a little in my mouth. I need to shed some weight. I have started though, I put in eviction papers for the small immigrant family that has been residing on my face: The Chins. Be careful, they have been struggling, so after they leave my face, they may try to find refuge on some unsuspecting person's face. Perhaps, near a major holiday or something like that.
I am going to leave you with this: I created an official Indian guy smiley modicon. @:) the turbaned indian smiley face.
My daughter bitchslapped Anita last night. I have known Anita for almost 11 years and I have never come close to raising a finger to her. Yet, my daughter bitchslapped her. It was a solid backhand that Serena Williams would be proud of. Ok, she did it unintentionally in her sleep, but it was pretty funny. Ivana has now become a nightly tenant in our in bed every night and by God, she has taken over. She sleeps sideways, upside down, diagonal, you name it. But it almost always involves some assault like a kick to the stomach or other "valued goods". It's a king sized bed yet Anita and I are on opposite sides clinging to the edge of the bed every night. Partly because of Ivana's sleeping habits and partly because of the fat elvis score (20 years). I told Anita when she married me that my body is kind of like a wonderland, it's moreso like a luxury resort undergoing a historic expansion. I hope you weren't eating something when you read that last sentence, because I even threw up a little in my mouth. I need to shed some weight. I have started though, I put in eviction papers for the small immigrant family that has been residing on my face: The Chins. Be careful, they have been struggling, so after they leave my face, they may try to find refuge on some unsuspecting person's face. Perhaps, near a major holiday or something like that.
I am going to leave you with this: I created an official Indian guy smiley modicon. @:) the turbaned indian smiley face.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Chockit and Porcupines
First of all, I want to thank everyone that has been keeping up with the blog, it means a whole lot to me and I hope that it is keeping you entertained. We are up to 8 followers and I hope we can add more.
Sorry for the delay between posts. I was involved in the Haymarket Blogwriters strike. Thankfully, it was resolved peacefully. I heard that if I joined a union, I could make a lot of money by right of the union contract as opposed to earning it by putting out a good product. I mean I need to take care of my family, right? Speaking of union negotiations, Anita decided to put out M&M's in little Valentine's Day themed bowls seeing that Valentine's Day was about a week or so ago. However, with a 22 month old mobile kid, maybe it wasn't such a great idea. Ivana was running around demanding "Chockit". It got to a point where when she ate meals, we had to negotiate having her take a bite of lunch or dinner with offers of M&M's in exchange. The negotiations involved in dealing with a kid that age has to be tougher than union negotiations. M&Ms probably could be a useful tool to help get unions to come to the negotiating table.
I promised a discussion on bathrooms and office etiquette, so I wanted to start with my own bladder issues. I like to try to drink at least 8 cups of water a day. Therefore, I end up having to use the restroom relatively often. My first consulting gig with my current company was in a little town called Westminster, MD. It is about 90 miles from home and I stayed there during the week for about the first 7 months. Then I got sick of it and started to drive almost 2 hours each way every day just so I could be home every night. Therefore, with my water drinking habit and the fact that one night I woke up in a tub full of ice because some Eastern Europeans had removed my bladder and replaced it with the bladder of a squirrel, I sometimes needed to stop on the way home to use the restroom. Now public restrooms give me the heebie jeebies, because they are generally pretty disgusting. So, on one particular rest stop, I chose a McDonald's in Leesburg, VA. For my female readers, the urinals usually have some sort of "urinal cake", which is the thing that "Melman" from "Madagascar" thought was a mint that he got out of the NYC subway stop. So I went to the restroom and started doing my business. However, stuff started flying all over the place (I have a strong flow). It was like a porcupine ran into my crotch and there were holes in my "junk". It was a little more simple than that. They had put the "urinal cake" in upside down. The restroom at my current office is like that of a bus or train station. It's positively disgusting. Sometimes when I happen to use the urinal I have noticed items in there that shouldn't be in there like chewing tobacco, romaine lettuce or sunflower seeds. Yes, I DID SAY ROMAINE LETTUCE! I am thinking cheese and rice, is there some STD that i don't know about that cause people to urinate items like sunflower seeds and leafy greens???? I even put a sign on the wall that said "If you are urinating tobacco, sunflower seeds, or romaine lettuce, it might be time to visit the doctor." I'm going to leave this post at that. I hope to post again tomorrow as I know you will be eagerly awaiting the next fun topic.
Sorry for the delay between posts. I was involved in the Haymarket Blogwriters strike. Thankfully, it was resolved peacefully. I heard that if I joined a union, I could make a lot of money by right of the union contract as opposed to earning it by putting out a good product. I mean I need to take care of my family, right? Speaking of union negotiations, Anita decided to put out M&M's in little Valentine's Day themed bowls seeing that Valentine's Day was about a week or so ago. However, with a 22 month old mobile kid, maybe it wasn't such a great idea. Ivana was running around demanding "Chockit". It got to a point where when she ate meals, we had to negotiate having her take a bite of lunch or dinner with offers of M&M's in exchange. The negotiations involved in dealing with a kid that age has to be tougher than union negotiations. M&Ms probably could be a useful tool to help get unions to come to the negotiating table.
I promised a discussion on bathrooms and office etiquette, so I wanted to start with my own bladder issues. I like to try to drink at least 8 cups of water a day. Therefore, I end up having to use the restroom relatively often. My first consulting gig with my current company was in a little town called Westminster, MD. It is about 90 miles from home and I stayed there during the week for about the first 7 months. Then I got sick of it and started to drive almost 2 hours each way every day just so I could be home every night. Therefore, with my water drinking habit and the fact that one night I woke up in a tub full of ice because some Eastern Europeans had removed my bladder and replaced it with the bladder of a squirrel, I sometimes needed to stop on the way home to use the restroom. Now public restrooms give me the heebie jeebies, because they are generally pretty disgusting. So, on one particular rest stop, I chose a McDonald's in Leesburg, VA. For my female readers, the urinals usually have some sort of "urinal cake", which is the thing that "Melman" from "Madagascar" thought was a mint that he got out of the NYC subway stop. So I went to the restroom and started doing my business. However, stuff started flying all over the place (I have a strong flow). It was like a porcupine ran into my crotch and there were holes in my "junk". It was a little more simple than that. They had put the "urinal cake" in upside down. The restroom at my current office is like that of a bus or train station. It's positively disgusting. Sometimes when I happen to use the urinal I have noticed items in there that shouldn't be in there like chewing tobacco, romaine lettuce or sunflower seeds. Yes, I DID SAY ROMAINE LETTUCE! I am thinking cheese and rice, is there some STD that i don't know about that cause people to urinate items like sunflower seeds and leafy greens???? I even put a sign on the wall that said "If you are urinating tobacco, sunflower seeds, or romaine lettuce, it might be time to visit the doctor." I'm going to leave this post at that. I hope to post again tomorrow as I know you will be eagerly awaiting the next fun topic.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sticks and Stones and PMDs
So I feel I have some explaining to do regarding my last post. Not an apology, because remember "Keepin' it Real" should be taken literally. But I wanted people to know that the terms used in the last post are just words. I think I have become overly sensitive to how people take my jokes. I tend to joke a lot and like to believe that a lot of times, I say what people are thinking but are afraid to say. I joke around so much that I spent the last 16-17 years in my Fat Elvis stage developing a layer of blubber. In other words, I have developed thick skin and think that we all need to do the same, although not literally, like me.
I have another confession to make. Today, when I was changing my daughters diaper, a ball of poop fell out when i was trying to wrap up the diaper. I casually picked it up with my bare hand and put it back in the dirty diaper. Didn't even think twice about it. Did I think I would ever be able to grab poop in my bare hands 21.5 months ago? Hell no, but as of today, i don't even give it a second thought.
So, I have been a father for 21.5 months and have learned a lot during that time. One of the things that I have learned the most about is poo. Those of you who have kids understand the importance of poo, and those that don't, need to heed my words. From the day the kid is born, you need to study their poop. It is about productive poo. You need to make sure it is a certain color and texture (by visual observation of course). Their poo will most likely tell you how they are feeling and developing. It is fascinating stuff. The one thing that you will never be able to prepare for are the PMDs or Poops of Mass Destruction. These things can cause significant environmental damage with long term consequences. They will teach you to breathe by only exhaling. Your kid may even try to test launch their PMD's and U.N. inspectors would need to be called in. The PMD's will cause you to try to consult with the President on developing a PMD non proliferation treaty. Probably a lot more than you ever wanted to hear about poop, but I like to share.
I have another confession to make. Today, when I was changing my daughters diaper, a ball of poop fell out when i was trying to wrap up the diaper. I casually picked it up with my bare hand and put it back in the dirty diaper. Didn't even think twice about it. Did I think I would ever be able to grab poop in my bare hands 21.5 months ago? Hell no, but as of today, i don't even give it a second thought.
So, I have been a father for 21.5 months and have learned a lot during that time. One of the things that I have learned the most about is poo. Those of you who have kids understand the importance of poo, and those that don't, need to heed my words. From the day the kid is born, you need to study their poop. It is about productive poo. You need to make sure it is a certain color and texture (by visual observation of course). Their poo will most likely tell you how they are feeling and developing. It is fascinating stuff. The one thing that you will never be able to prepare for are the PMDs or Poops of Mass Destruction. These things can cause significant environmental damage with long term consequences. They will teach you to breathe by only exhaling. Your kid may even try to test launch their PMD's and U.N. inspectors would need to be called in. The PMD's will cause you to try to consult with the President on developing a PMD non proliferation treaty. Probably a lot more than you ever wanted to hear about poop, but I like to share.
Friday, February 12, 2010
SnowCaps (warning: crass language and crude references may occur)
So, obviously the whole world has heard about the snow that the Washington, DC area got over the last week or so, right? If you haven't heard about it, you most likely reside in a cave where the only cable choices may be Fox News or Al Jazeera.
My friend bought tickets to last Fridays Caps game vs. the Atlanta Thrashers. When the tickets were purchased, it looked to be a promising guys night of watching the Caps beat up on the Thrashers and then 6 married, Indian dudes were going to terrorize single women in the area outside of Verizon Center with great lines like "what can brown do for you?" Ok, we really wouldn't have tried to hit on chicks, but we definitely would have had some drinks and some laughs at each other's expense. However, we decided not to risk driving in the snowstorm and eat the cost of our tickets. The Caps won their 13th in a row that night. I had sent Ted Leonsis (caps very accessible owner) an email asking him to help us out with at least a ticket exchange. He responded with basically "suck it, 16K people showed up and it was fun". I had no problem with that response because one the guys that was going with us basically called the rest of us a slang term for female genitalia. It rhymes with the movie "Octopussy". This brings me to the next discussion of one of the most important aspects in the guy friend relationship: the freedom to call each other by varying terms for female genitalia, ailments of the female genitalia, as well as multiple terms to denote a love of same sex relations. Do females have a similar vernacular? [ Sorry, I used the term vernacular because Anita and I saw someone describe the son of Easy E with the following: "his vernacular is bananas"]
I am proposing a new term for guys to replace terms such as Vagina McVaginastein [a part scottish, part jewish vagina?], gaylord, fagmalian or vaginosis in reference to a guy "wimping out". It is OBE, not Overcome By Events, but Overcome By Estrogen.
I have more to discuss about the snow as well as a lot more items ... I am trying to keep these posts semi-brief. Give me some feedback. I can definitely make them longer.
My friend bought tickets to last Fridays Caps game vs. the Atlanta Thrashers. When the tickets were purchased, it looked to be a promising guys night of watching the Caps beat up on the Thrashers and then 6 married, Indian dudes were going to terrorize single women in the area outside of Verizon Center with great lines like "what can brown do for you?" Ok, we really wouldn't have tried to hit on chicks, but we definitely would have had some drinks and some laughs at each other's expense. However, we decided not to risk driving in the snowstorm and eat the cost of our tickets. The Caps won their 13th in a row that night. I had sent Ted Leonsis (caps very accessible owner) an email asking him to help us out with at least a ticket exchange. He responded with basically "suck it, 16K people showed up and it was fun". I had no problem with that response because one the guys that was going with us basically called the rest of us a slang term for female genitalia. It rhymes with the movie "Octopussy". This brings me to the next discussion of one of the most important aspects in the guy friend relationship: the freedom to call each other by varying terms for female genitalia, ailments of the female genitalia, as well as multiple terms to denote a love of same sex relations. Do females have a similar vernacular? [ Sorry, I used the term vernacular because Anita and I saw someone describe the son of Easy E with the following: "his vernacular is bananas"]
I am proposing a new term for guys to replace terms such as Vagina McVaginastein [a part scottish, part jewish vagina?], gaylord, fagmalian or vaginosis in reference to a guy "wimping out". It is OBE, not Overcome By Events, but Overcome By Estrogen.
I have more to discuss about the snow as well as a lot more items ... I am trying to keep these posts semi-brief. Give me some feedback. I can definitely make them longer.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Grabbag
I apologize for skipping the subject matter that I originally promised. I do hope people enjoyed my Super Bowl Blog. I appreciate my 7 followers as well as anyone else who has read so far. This blog site doesn't have a counter so that I can see how many people have read. Either way, I am going to continue blogging. Eventually, I hope to expand to include multimedia, maybe even a podcast and/or short films.
I stayed home from work today because of the snow, so I got to spend 12 straight hours with my daughter Ivana. So we were trying to get her to go to sleep because she didn't have a nap today and she was kind of half crying so we started to sing a collection of songs including "Twinkle, Twinkle ..." and "You Are My Sunshine". She actually interrupted us during a rousing duet of "You Are My Sunshine" and said "Guys ..."
Nothing more needed to be said. She wanted us to shut up so she could get to sleep.
I am sure you have been waiting with bated breath to hear of "Shunky's Teat". So here goes ... I have a friend named Shankar. He was the first of our group of friends to get married and a close second in having his first kid. I was talking in an earlier post about how things that you say tend to come back to bite you, so when Shankar first had his kid, we would hang out with our group of friends and eventually try to get our drink on. However, Shankar seemed pre-occupied with holding his son and semi-worshipping him. I used to joke that he couldn't drink with us because he was busy breastfeeding his son. We even created a drinking game where everyone would have to drink every time that Shankar picked his son up and brought him to his teat ....
Eventually, we had our daughter Ivana and since then, I can't keep my eyes off of her and I tend to hold her and hug her and show a lot affection. This also occurs when we are hanging with our group of friends and therefore, I have become the subject of the drinking game. This is one example of how jokes tend to have a way of coming back and biting you.
I have a lot of material to get through with the snow, the Caps, the snow ... so I will have more posts very soon.
I stayed home from work today because of the snow, so I got to spend 12 straight hours with my daughter Ivana. So we were trying to get her to go to sleep because she didn't have a nap today and she was kind of half crying so we started to sing a collection of songs including "Twinkle, Twinkle ..." and "You Are My Sunshine". She actually interrupted us during a rousing duet of "You Are My Sunshine" and said "Guys ..."
Nothing more needed to be said. She wanted us to shut up so she could get to sleep.
I am sure you have been waiting with bated breath to hear of "Shunky's Teat". So here goes ... I have a friend named Shankar. He was the first of our group of friends to get married and a close second in having his first kid. I was talking in an earlier post about how things that you say tend to come back to bite you, so when Shankar first had his kid, we would hang out with our group of friends and eventually try to get our drink on. However, Shankar seemed pre-occupied with holding his son and semi-worshipping him. I used to joke that he couldn't drink with us because he was busy breastfeeding his son. We even created a drinking game where everyone would have to drink every time that Shankar picked his son up and brought him to his teat ....
Eventually, we had our daughter Ivana and since then, I can't keep my eyes off of her and I tend to hold her and hug her and show a lot affection. This also occurs when we are hanging with our group of friends and therefore, I have become the subject of the drinking game. This is one example of how jokes tend to have a way of coming back and biting you.
I have a lot of material to get through with the snow, the Caps, the snow ... so I will have more posts very soon.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Super Bowl Blog
Carrie Underwood sings the National Anthem. I need help to describing her outfit. Hopefully, one of my 5 followers will do so. Anita gives a thumbs up to her shoes.
6:28 PM: New Orleans wins coin toss (13th straight time NFC has won the coin toss)
6:30 PM: Colts about to kickoff, Jim Nantz looks really happy. He is dating a 29 year old.
6:33 PM: Saints go 3 and out. Surprised that CBS didn't cut to the first commercial.
6:35 PM: Colts offense is introduced. Anita thinks Austin Collie is dreamy.
6:38 PM: I was surprised when I saw what Pierre Garcon looked like. Expected a French guy in a beret.
6:41 PM: I was surprised when I saw Scott Fujita for the first time. Expected a guy that resembled a Samurai
6:42 PM: First commercial from Bud Light. weak. CBS caved and made them change the Tim Tebow commercial. How disappointing. The people that protested should be ASSHAMED of themselves. I spelled "ashamed" wrong on purpose.
6::49 PM: Anita informed me that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush will get married if the Saints win. Another reason to root for the Saints. Note to whoever makes her wedding dress: leave a lot of room in the butt area and say no if she asks for white.
6:52 PM: Two commercial gems, Doritos commercial with guy that comes over to date single mom and Bud Light astronomers commercial
7:01 PM: How do you say touchdown in French? Was Pierre Garcon in "Julie & Julia"?
7:02 PM: Confession: I watched 3/4th of "27 Dresses" last weekend. I think my cajones retracted into my body a little bit that night.
7:15 PM: Rewound the game a little bit because I was trying to help with Ivana, so times might be a little of from now on.
7:18 PM: Eating pizza.
7:21 PM: Mark Sanchez gets a thumbs up from Anita. I knew she likes Latinos. She's always calling for landscaping estimates ...
7:24 PM: Wow, Brett Favre will sell anything ...
7:29 PM: Wondering what again rock stars the NFL will get for next year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. Jerry Lee Lewis maybe?
7:31 PM: Ivana's first "Again" Coldplay request
7:38 PM: Way to go Dodge, get a guy that plays a serial killer on TV to be your spokesman ...
7:42 PM: Troy Polamalu "Tru TV" commerical got a laugh out of Anita. She has low standards, she is one of my 5 followers
7:43 PM: I can't believe Sean Payton ran the ball 3 times inside the 10
7:51 PM: 1st half over and Ivana's 2nd "Again" Coldplay request.
7:56 PM: Ivana requests "Again" for the 3rd time as well as her first "Caillou", and "Nina and Star" requests. She even requested "the Wiggles"
8:03 PM: The first notes of "Baba O'Reilly" plays, reminding Anita that I chose this as the song that we entered our wedding reception to. Not happy times at the Vettickal household.
8:05 PM: Roger Daltrey proves that old guys can play the harmonica
8:07 PM: "The Who" is ruining it for aging rockstars hoping to audition for the next Halftime Show.
8:11 PM: "The Who" playing "Won't Get Fooled Again", NFL thinking "you're damn right we won't"
8:12 PM: Robert Plant and Jimmy Page call "The Who's" agent to threaten his life
8:17 PM: I relent to Ivana's 4th request for "Again"
8:23 PM: I take Ivana up to put her to bed.
8:32 PM: I don't think Anita actually used the word "dreamy" to describe Austin Collie, did I? Jeez, I did watch 3/4th of "27 Dresses".
8:59 PM: Ivana in her crib and I am about to resume the game
9:01 PM: Wishing America's CEO's were doing something more productive than dumbing down the country with another reality tv show.
9:04 PM: Feeling defensive about choosing "Baba O'Reilly" as reception entrance song. It was Paul O'Neill's at bat song during the Yankees run of World Series wins in the late 90's.
9:10 PM: Just see the onside kick. Wow! what a call by Payton. that takes cajones. I couldn't have made that call after watching "27 Dresses" last weekend.
9:15 PM: Touchdown Saints! First time in Super Bowl history that two "Pierre's" score the first two TD's. Don't think that will ever happen again.
9:16 PM: Oh jeez, Megan Fox in a tub of bubbles. Oh jeez.
9:17 PM: Grizzly Bear already sold out? really???? Volkwagen commercial with Stevie Wonder and Tracy Morgan at the end.
9:24 PM: Watching the game on delay.
9:25 PM: Random thought: what would you call a fear of homophobes? homophobia phobia?
9:26 PM: Not quite panic mode, but I cannot locate my chapstick
9:28 PM: Loving the battery on the MacBook. 3 1/2 hours of charge left
9:30 PM: Uncharacteristically bad tackling from a Gregg Williams' coached defense
9:33 PM: Wondering if people will read this far down
9:35 PM: E-Trade Yes!
9:37 PM: Chapstick found, crisis averted
9:42 PM: Google commercial "how to impress a French girl?" bathe ...
10:20 PM: wow Saints. Drew Brees definite MVP. Glad Gregg Williams will get his Super Bowl ring before douchebag Dan Snyder
10:22 PM: Jim Caldwell was outcoached.
10:23 PM: Yay! Another Kardashian wedding to look forward to
10:35 PM: new favorite NFL Player: Drew Brees
6:28 PM: New Orleans wins coin toss (13th straight time NFC has won the coin toss)
6:30 PM: Colts about to kickoff, Jim Nantz looks really happy. He is dating a 29 year old.
6:33 PM: Saints go 3 and out. Surprised that CBS didn't cut to the first commercial.
6:35 PM: Colts offense is introduced. Anita thinks Austin Collie is dreamy.
6:38 PM: I was surprised when I saw what Pierre Garcon looked like. Expected a French guy in a beret.
6:41 PM: I was surprised when I saw Scott Fujita for the first time. Expected a guy that resembled a Samurai
6:42 PM: First commercial from Bud Light. weak. CBS caved and made them change the Tim Tebow commercial. How disappointing. The people that protested should be ASSHAMED of themselves. I spelled "ashamed" wrong on purpose.
6::49 PM: Anita informed me that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush will get married if the Saints win. Another reason to root for the Saints. Note to whoever makes her wedding dress: leave a lot of room in the butt area and say no if she asks for white.
6:52 PM: Two commercial gems, Doritos commercial with guy that comes over to date single mom and Bud Light astronomers commercial
7:01 PM: How do you say touchdown in French? Was Pierre Garcon in "Julie & Julia"?
7:02 PM: Confession: I watched 3/4th of "27 Dresses" last weekend. I think my cajones retracted into my body a little bit that night.
7:15 PM: Rewound the game a little bit because I was trying to help with Ivana, so times might be a little of from now on.
7:18 PM: Eating pizza.
7:21 PM: Mark Sanchez gets a thumbs up from Anita. I knew she likes Latinos. She's always calling for landscaping estimates ...
7:24 PM: Wow, Brett Favre will sell anything ...
7:29 PM: Wondering what again rock stars the NFL will get for next year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. Jerry Lee Lewis maybe?
7:31 PM: Ivana's first "Again" Coldplay request
7:38 PM: Way to go Dodge, get a guy that plays a serial killer on TV to be your spokesman ...
7:42 PM: Troy Polamalu "Tru TV" commerical got a laugh out of Anita. She has low standards, she is one of my 5 followers
7:43 PM: I can't believe Sean Payton ran the ball 3 times inside the 10
7:51 PM: 1st half over and Ivana's 2nd "Again" Coldplay request.
7:56 PM: Ivana requests "Again" for the 3rd time as well as her first "Caillou", and "Nina and Star" requests. She even requested "the Wiggles"
8:03 PM: The first notes of "Baba O'Reilly" plays, reminding Anita that I chose this as the song that we entered our wedding reception to. Not happy times at the Vettickal household.
8:05 PM: Roger Daltrey proves that old guys can play the harmonica
8:07 PM: "The Who" is ruining it for aging rockstars hoping to audition for the next Halftime Show.
8:11 PM: "The Who" playing "Won't Get Fooled Again", NFL thinking "you're damn right we won't"
8:12 PM: Robert Plant and Jimmy Page call "The Who's" agent to threaten his life
8:17 PM: I relent to Ivana's 4th request for "Again"
8:23 PM: I take Ivana up to put her to bed.
8:32 PM: I don't think Anita actually used the word "dreamy" to describe Austin Collie, did I? Jeez, I did watch 3/4th of "27 Dresses".
8:59 PM: Ivana in her crib and I am about to resume the game
9:01 PM: Wishing America's CEO's were doing something more productive than dumbing down the country with another reality tv show.
9:04 PM: Feeling defensive about choosing "Baba O'Reilly" as reception entrance song. It was Paul O'Neill's at bat song during the Yankees run of World Series wins in the late 90's.
9:10 PM: Just see the onside kick. Wow! what a call by Payton. that takes cajones. I couldn't have made that call after watching "27 Dresses" last weekend.
9:15 PM: Touchdown Saints! First time in Super Bowl history that two "Pierre's" score the first two TD's. Don't think that will ever happen again.
9:16 PM: Oh jeez, Megan Fox in a tub of bubbles. Oh jeez.
9:17 PM: Grizzly Bear already sold out? really???? Volkwagen commercial with Stevie Wonder and Tracy Morgan at the end.
9:24 PM: Watching the game on delay.
9:25 PM: Random thought: what would you call a fear of homophobes? homophobia phobia?
9:26 PM: Not quite panic mode, but I cannot locate my chapstick
9:28 PM: Loving the battery on the MacBook. 3 1/2 hours of charge left
9:30 PM: Uncharacteristically bad tackling from a Gregg Williams' coached defense
9:33 PM: Wondering if people will read this far down
9:35 PM: E-Trade Yes!
9:37 PM: Chapstick found, crisis averted
9:42 PM: Google commercial "how to impress a French girl?" bathe ...
10:20 PM: wow Saints. Drew Brees definite MVP. Glad Gregg Williams will get his Super Bowl ring before douchebag Dan Snyder
10:22 PM: Jim Caldwell was outcoached.
10:23 PM: Yay! Another Kardashian wedding to look forward to
10:35 PM: new favorite NFL Player: Drew Brees
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Boss and a Confession
I have a slight confession to make. After all my bitching and moaning about the drivers of this area, I think I may have committed a DLD yesterday. DLD you ask? Driving Like a Douche, yes, I was driving with my daughter to drop her off and was trying to feed her cheerios and cinnamon toast crunch while picking up her stuffed animal lamb Bernice off the ground. So, I may have been weaving a little ... within my own lane of course. So I ate some Turf and Air for dinner (a hamburger and some crow). It always seems to happen to me. I will joke or complain about something and then I will do the same thing. I hope that doesn't make me a hypocrite. Remind me to explain this in more detail, keywords will be the Wiggles and my friend Shunky's teat.
Back to business. I was talking about music in my last post. Last year, I had the pleasure of seeing 5 great musical acts. I saw Pete Yorn with Coldplay headlining, Muse with U2 headlining (twice) and Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band (nobody opens up for the Boss).
I hear a lot of people make fun of Coldplay, but the 4 guys were in a musical zone and playing very well together and therefore, put on a great show. Muse was a revelation with the best musicianship I have heard since Rush. U2 put on their consistently great show as I expected. Finally, I got to see the Boss with my younger brother. It was my second time and we were very close to the stage. I was physically spent after the concert as it is very difficult to sing along with the Boss for 3 hours. That old guy even crowd surfed during "Hungry Heart".
During the 1980's I had heard Bruce Springsteen songs and I liked them even though I didn't know who was singing them. Then, Born in the USA came out and I couldn't stand Bruce Springsteen. Around the same time my older brother would play this cassette with some awesome songs like "Blinded by the Light" (where i first learned sing the word "douche", although I later found out it was "deuce") "For You" and "Spirit in the Night". I was like, "jiminy crickets, this is some good shit" I asked my older brother who sang them and told me it was his friend Leo and his band. I believed him for a few weeks. When I found it was actually Bruce Springsteen, it led me to seek out more of his music and I have been a Bruce Springsteen fan ever since. This culminated in my first experience seeing him perform the epic "Rosalita" live. That was one of my concert wishes that I could cross off my list.
Next post will be a grab bag of stuff including office etiquette, bathrooms and movies and another confession, maybe my friend Shunky's teat too.
Back to business. I was talking about music in my last post. Last year, I had the pleasure of seeing 5 great musical acts. I saw Pete Yorn with Coldplay headlining, Muse with U2 headlining (twice) and Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band (nobody opens up for the Boss).
I hear a lot of people make fun of Coldplay, but the 4 guys were in a musical zone and playing very well together and therefore, put on a great show. Muse was a revelation with the best musicianship I have heard since Rush. U2 put on their consistently great show as I expected. Finally, I got to see the Boss with my younger brother. It was my second time and we were very close to the stage. I was physically spent after the concert as it is very difficult to sing along with the Boss for 3 hours. That old guy even crowd surfed during "Hungry Heart".
During the 1980's I had heard Bruce Springsteen songs and I liked them even though I didn't know who was singing them. Then, Born in the USA came out and I couldn't stand Bruce Springsteen. Around the same time my older brother would play this cassette with some awesome songs like "Blinded by the Light" (where i first learned sing the word "douche", although I later found out it was "deuce") "For You" and "Spirit in the Night". I was like, "jiminy crickets, this is some good shit" I asked my older brother who sang them and told me it was his friend Leo and his band. I believed him for a few weeks. When I found it was actually Bruce Springsteen, it led me to seek out more of his music and I have been a Bruce Springsteen fan ever since. This culminated in my first experience seeing him perform the epic "Rosalita" live. That was one of my concert wishes that I could cross off my list.
Next post will be a grab bag of stuff including office etiquette, bathrooms and movies and another confession, maybe my friend Shunky's teat too.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Curmudgeons and Music
I am excited that I have finally joined the blogosphere, I have gained 2 followers to bring it to a grand total of 2 followers AND got my first comment: "sounds a little curmudgeony to me". I was slightly disappointed that "curmudgeony" was what someone got from my first post, but it will spur me to try harder. I do believe that if you live in the DC suburbs or any major city's suburbs, you will at some point become curmudgeony over the traffic and lack of driving skill. Ok, moving on ...
When I got home from work today, we conducted our normal nightly routine which culminated in our daughter paying homage to her TV friend: "Caillou". I decided to mix it up and play the Grammy award Michael Jackson tribute. It was well received by our daughter. Then I moved onto a recording of a "Muse" concert at some English seaside venue. She got through a couple of songs including "Uprising" and "Starlight". However, she pressed for her favorite song, affectionately known to her as "Again"
A major reason that traffic and driving dominated my first post, is because my commute to work everyday including dropping our daughter to her grandmother's, takes about an hour each way. When I first started driving my daughter as part of the daily commute, Coldplay's album: Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends had just come out. There were two songs on the album in particular that I was able to play to calm her down if she got restless and started crying: Reign of Love/Lovers in Japan and Viva la Vida (which became known as "Again" to her). As she has gotten older, she has expanded her list of songs that will calm her down. However, "Again" is the "go to" song. I also recorded "Coldplay Live in Japan" on the Palladium channel, so she can watch "Again" at her leisure. All the songs mentioned today are available at ITunes or whatever music downloading site you are a fan of.
In future posts, I will suggest more song downloads based on my daughter's playlist as well as my own recommendations. So far, I agree with all of her choices, even the Latin beat songs she was into near her first birthday.
Next post will involve a lost cassette from the 80's in which my brother's friend Leo recorded vocals that sound very similar to a legendary American musician.
When I got home from work today, we conducted our normal nightly routine which culminated in our daughter paying homage to her TV friend: "Caillou". I decided to mix it up and play the Grammy award Michael Jackson tribute. It was well received by our daughter. Then I moved onto a recording of a "Muse" concert at some English seaside venue. She got through a couple of songs including "Uprising" and "Starlight". However, she pressed for her favorite song, affectionately known to her as "Again"
A major reason that traffic and driving dominated my first post, is because my commute to work everyday including dropping our daughter to her grandmother's, takes about an hour each way. When I first started driving my daughter as part of the daily commute, Coldplay's album: Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends had just come out. There were two songs on the album in particular that I was able to play to calm her down if she got restless and started crying: Reign of Love/Lovers in Japan and Viva la Vida (which became known as "Again" to her). As she has gotten older, she has expanded her list of songs that will calm her down. However, "Again" is the "go to" song. I also recorded "Coldplay Live in Japan" on the Palladium channel, so she can watch "Again" at her leisure. All the songs mentioned today are available at ITunes or whatever music downloading site you are a fan of.
In future posts, I will suggest more song downloads based on my daughter's playlist as well as my own recommendations. So far, I agree with all of her choices, even the Latin beat songs she was into near her first birthday.
Next post will involve a lost cassette from the 80's in which my brother's friend Leo recorded vocals that sound very similar to a legendary American musician.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)