Before I begin, I wanted to let people know that the story of how I met Anita was not done and I will have another post to explain.
I am going to begin with the Red Carpet Show as there is so much value in watching really rich people wear ridiculously expensive clothing and borrowed jewels. This is on a delay as the daughter needed to get her dose of Curious George before bedtime.
I will post entries about every 45 minutes or so depending on how the show is going ...
8:00 PM: Glass of Cabernet in hand awaiting the beginning of the Red Carpet Show
8:00:17 PM: Realize that even joking about drinking wine while watching the Red Carpet Show is a little bit O.B.E. ... just a little bit
8:01 PM: Sherri Shephard introduces the Red Carpet Show. She voiced Alex the Lion's mom in Madagascar 2 ... she looks much better as a cartoon voice
8:02 PM: Kathy Ireland looks pretty hot and like she enjoyed some pre-game "booger sugar"
8:04 PM: Note to Penelope Cruz, um, you still don't speak good English
8:05 PM: It's a Gyllenhaal party. In case you didn't know, Jake Gyllenhaal played a gay in "Bubbleboy"
8:07 PM: George Clooney recently bought an island for his lady. His lady looks a little high. She don't speak no English either
8:08 PM: Sandra Bulloch is wearing Marquesa. If you are hosting a douchy Oscar Party, make sure you score on for the fine folks at Marquesa. Sandra's face looks like it is having a tough time moving.
8:09 PM: I think I just peed my pants. Zac Effron being interviewed by Kathy Ireland. I think my sister's boyfriend styled his hair today
8:10 PM: Camera pans the crowd right before a commercial break. The chick from "Precious" is shown reminding me of a conversation I had with my friend last night. We were sitting at a bar and a larger black woman came by ordering some drinks. Somehow, my friend mentioned that his wife asked him earlier that day whether he would be interested in watching "Precious". It's funny how certain things lead you to great conversation pieces.
8:14 PM: Morgan Freeman seems a little, um, drunk
8:17 PM: JLo appears to be wearing a sail from the America's Cup winning boat
8:17 PM: Oh jeez, JLo just turned around showed her butt. I need to check my tv screen to see if it's cracked
8:19 PM: Matthew Broderick appears to have brought a showhorse as his guest to the Oscar's. Gutsy choice by Matt. PETA members will be pleased. The showhorse is wearing Chanel by the way.
8:20 PM: Matthew Broderick dismissed by one of the hosts. They seemed more interested in talking to the talking showhorse
8:23 PM: Tina Fey has some weird creases on her face
8:24 PM: Miley Cyrus makes me feel better about my teeth
8:25 PM: Jeff Bridges is so cool. I think he likes pot.
8:27 PM: Kate Winslet should have gotten her teeth whitened. In her defense, she is British
8:28 PM: Ok, I already feel guilty about this one, but Gabourey Sidibe from "Precious" is on and I can't help but thinking that the Redskins really need a new starting left tackle
8:30 PM: Meryl Streep always reminded me of a banana for some reason
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