No Surprises

The other morning when we were getting ready to get out the door in the morning, Anita busted me.  I was chasing Ivana around the kitchen, trying to get her jacket on and a commercial came on for Mercury.  A while back, there were these Mercury commercials that featured a woman talking about all the great features of the Mercury vehicles.  Um, it kind of almost convinced me to buy a Mercury.  Then this woman disappeared from the commercials for a while.  She has apparently returned to the commercials and she happened to be in the commercial that I happened to look up at while chasing Ivana around the kitchen.  My eagle eye wife busted me in an instant.


The truth is that all guys are POI'sPervs On the Inside).  We try to suppress it as much as possible, but sometimes we just can't control it and will slip for an instant.  The other universal truth is that wives have SPDA (Supernatural Perv Detecting Ability).  Anita got mad at me one morning because she had a dream that I had another kid from another woman.  In her dream, she did math to determine that the kid was young enough to have been born during our marriage.  I wasn't concerned about her crazy dream because another universal truth is that women be crazy.  However, the only question I asked her was if the "other woman" in the dream was "hot".  Now before you get all upset, women need to admit that they sometimes think the same way.  How many of you women can say that they haven't lingered in looking at images of say, Bradley Cooper or David Beckham.  We were watching the hilarious new show "Modern Family" and there was a guest appearance by Benjamin Bratt.  I happened to look over at Anita during a scene with Benjamin Bratt and she had a smile on her face and a thought cloud above her head that said "hey baby, you fiiiiiiine".


So you wonder why I'm talking about all this stuff.  On Wednesday, we found out the gender of the baby we are expecting.  When the Sonogram Tech told us, we were very happy.  However, a few minutes later, I began to think that I am going to have two daughters!  Two daughters that will someday have to deal with POI's.  I am really going to have make strong push towards the nunnery.  Ivana does like penguins ...