In my press release, I announced that we are expecting an addition to our family. We are excited, scared, tired, and scared. As you may be able to tell, we struggle with one, so adding another kid to the equation will be a fun challenge. So challenging, that I think I could pitch it as a reality show. If the title weren't already taken, I think I would call the show "Reality Bites". I can't even imagine the piles of unfolded clothes that will pile up in our laundry room when we have a second kid to keep track of. There will be a lot more fishing for panties. Let me explain. The weekend before last, Anita and I finally got around to folding the 14 million loads of laundry piled up in the laundry room. In order to do so, we needed to transport the clothes into the family room. During that process, you do suffer some losses in clothes that fall behind the dryer or washing machine. Therefore, because there were important "undergarments" back there, I had to sit on the dryer and literally fish for panties using such tools as a swiffer, a hanger and a vacuum hose. They could have a show on Espn 2 called "Pantymasters" starring me!
The truth is that I love being married and love being a parent. I love my 40 minute each way car rides every weekday morning with Ivana. I love the philisophical debates that I have with her about whether a bus is a bus or if a bus is a truck. She says they are "Chux". She did defeat me in a debate about whether the UPS vehicle was a truck or a van. I argued van, but I looked at the license plate and saw that it was indeed a "chuck". She still owns the "airwaves" in the car and dictates what we listen to. During Super Bowl week, I was trying to listen to the local morning sports talk show "the Sports Junkies". They were going to have Joe Montana as a guest and I didn't want to miss it. However, Ivana was in DJ mode asking for "again" or "song" to the point that she started yelling "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!". I was at a crossroads: I could let her have her way and hopefully end the yelling or I could try to outwit her with my slightly superior intellect. So I started yelling "aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!". It became a yelling challenge. She was defeated and I got to listen to the Joe Montana interview. Sometimes I find myself driving and looking in the rear mirror at her. I smile so hard that my face hurts until I realize that if my face hurting, I could possibly be hurting the small Asian family living on my face.
If you recall, the Chins moved onto my face at least 7 or 8 years ago and have been there ever since. I
started the eviction process but they threw a wrench into my plans by hiring an attorney. I guess I could be a little more understanding of their plight. They work hard at their dry cleaner and their eldest son, Jae Leno Chin, just got accepted to MIT. I will likely also need their connections to help me manufacture my latest invention: The Panty Fishing Rod.
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