Interview With an Umpire (ok, a Referee)

Real Kept Dude snagged an exclusive interview with disgraced World Cup Referee Koman Coulibaly, the ref who stole the game from the entire United States as well as their soccer team.  I have a feeling that Couilabaly agreeing to the interview had more to do with the fact that this blog has the least readership of any major publication in the world then my journalistic expertise.  Either way, we got the interview.  I decided not to ask him the obvious questions because I wanted to get to know the real Koman Coulibaly.  I also wanted to get him comfortable enough to talk about his horrible disgrace.  The interview follows:


Real Kept Dude:  Koman, may I call you "Stupid Idiot"?


Couilabaly:  I prefer "Koman"


Real Kept Dude:  Ok, Koman, I am not going to ask you about the U.S. vs. Slovenia because I am sure you have heard enough about it and will likely cry yourself to sleep for the rest of your life, soooo what is your favorite song?


Coulibaly:  I like Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light" and the classic "Three Blind Mice"


Real Kept Dude:  Can you name a few of your favorite musicians/artists?


Coulibaly:  I have quite a collection of 8 tracks including:  Blind Faith, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Third Eye Blind and Blind Melon to name a few.


Real Kept Dude:  How about movies, do you have some favorites?

Coulibaly:  I enjoyed Scent of a Woman, The Blind Side, The Miracle Worker, I Am Sam and Nell

Real Kept Dude:  There seems to be common thread in your answers, but I can't put my finger on it.

Coulibaly:  No, I am not gay.

Real Kept Dude:  What is your favorite form of transportation?

Coulibaly:  I like rickshaws as well as those small buses I sometimes see.  Some of them have a name of a school system or something like "Minnieland".

Real Kept Dude:  What are your favorite TV Shows?

Coulibaly:  I enjoy most Fox News shows such as Glenn Beck and Hannity as well as "Jersey Shore", "Real Housewives of New Jersey", "American Idol", "The Celebrity Apprentice", "Project Runway" and "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"  Oh, I also love Keith Olberman.

Real Kept Dude:  What will you do with your free time?

Coulibaly:  I am planning a fishing trip with my good friend and fellow ref/umpire:  Jim Joyce.

Real Kept Dude:  Has your refereeing skills improved since you decided to insert your head into your arse for World Cup 2010.

Coulibaly:  I didn't hear the question, my head was in my arse.

Real Kept Dude:  never mind.

Real Kept Dude:  Thank you for your time Koman.  I appreciate it and I am sure my readers will as well.

Coulibaly:  No problem, do you validate parking?

Real Kept Dude:  This was a phone interview.  I don't know where you are parked.

Coulibaly:  Oh, ok.