It's 3 AM I Must Be Lonely ...

Rob Thomas once sang "It's 3 AM I must be lonely" before he became a solo pop star.  Well, right now it's 3 AM and I'm actually not lonely.  I am awake with Ivana and Anita.  Ivana has finally settled on Sesame Street to watch after briefly tormenting us with that purple dinosaur.  Seriously, why did scientists even study why dinosaurs became extinct????  The effeminate purple T-Rex ruined it for all the dinosaurs.  They were more likely the victims of hate crimes by those jocks, the saber toothed tigers.  BTW, is it a universal reaction with adults when they see Barney that they want to assault him?  Yesterday, this guy at work started doing a Barney impression during a meeting and I almost jumped across the table and punched him.  Ok, moving on ...

A few months ago, people were talking about/fascinated with the movie "Paranormal Activity".  I wish I could have filmed Anita and I sleeping with our "suitemate".  We could have made millions!  I think both Anita levitate on the side of the bed at least once a night due to Ivana pushing us off the bed.  Sometimes I will feel sharp pain in my ribs during the day.  My self diagnosis always points to bruised ribs from being kicked in the middle of the night.  We are lucky that we are expecting already because I sure that one of these days my nads will fall victim to a precise and swift kick.  Rambling about to ensue ...


Ok, Ivana is still wide awake and at this point it's 3:47 AM.  I am wearing my nerdy black plastic coke bottle Malcolm X glasses.  Nathan Lane is singing with some puppet pigs on Sesame Street.  I am going to punch him.  Sometimes I take the trash out in the morning and I have my nerdy glasses on and some crazy sleep outfit on like gym shorts and a poncho with black socks and flip flops.  When I see a car drive by or a neighbor getting their newspaper, I get so embarassed.  I wonder how confused they must be when they see me later in the day returning from work in my highly fashionable dark polo shirt and khaki pants looking handsome and debonair like I came straight out of a magazine shoot .... for Home Depot.
Is it just me, or is "Mr. Noodle" from Sesame Street kind of creepy?  I have heard that sometimes people call their "junk" a noodle.  Ok, maybe it's just me like when I have had a few too many drinks like in

Tummy, Tummy Why You Buggin'?.  In that situation I would refer to it as a Thai dish.

All right, I think I am going to have to make an attempt to haul Ivana back upstairs.  Just FYI, with the continued poor ratings of this blog, my editors are considering outsourcing the writing.  Personally, I can't take the rejection.  It keeps me up at night watching kids shows.  Still love you guys though