Milestones

I recently achieved a few major milestones in my life.  I performed "Hakuna Matata" and "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" for the 1000th time each for my daughter Ivana.  She insists that I sing with her by saying "Daddy, sing me".  Of course, I oblige and sing every part including Pumbaa, Timon, young Simba and adult Simba as well as Zazu, who was played my the same guy that played "Mr. Bean".    It is quite the tour de force.   It is a little enjoyable for me as well as I get to use my hack British accent while performing. I think sometimes, as parents we try to appease our children's requests in a half-hearted manner.  Ivana, however, demands enthusiasm at all times.  She will make me restart if I "mail it in".

These performances made me think about some of these kids movies.  When "The Lion King" first came out, I was not a big fan because I thought that Matthew Broderick's adult Simba voice was way too wimpy to be the king of jungle.  I mean, his dad was Mufasa, played my James Earl Jones.  How did Mufasa have a kid with the wimpiest voice ever????  I mean it's different if you're playing Ferris Bueller, a high school kid, but c'mon Broderick!  Then I think about Mufasa's brother, Scar, who was played by Jeremy Irons.  What were Mufasa and Scar's parents thinking when they named one son "Mufasa" and the other "Scar"??  Did they think that the kid named after the mark that remains after a wound, wouldn't be resentful and hate his brother?  I don't blame Scar for being such a douche.

Anyway, Ivana recently started watching "The Little Mermaid".  I know it can't be just Ivana, but kids love to watch the same movie over and over and over.  Upon one of the screenings of the Little Mermaid, I noticed that Ariel was just 16 years old [um, she was pretty "well developed" for 16].  That means the Prince, who looked like he was 35 was seriously robbing the cradle.  Did the writers not think of this?  Also, Ursula, the Sea Witch looks like Paula Deen.  She should have just fried some shrimp  and traded that deliciousness for Ariel's voice.

I am going to stop now as I have a deadline.  Happy New Year everyone and keep it real in 2011.