No More Drama (crude reference to Lebron James' shameless self promotion will follow)

Inspired by Lebron James' self fellation, and subsequent negative reaction from about 99% of humans (the other 1% being his posse), I have decided to quit faux complaining about a lack of readership and posting as often as I can.   Lebron also made me think that we should have our own one hour specials when we make important choices like:  Where to go to dinner, what movie to watch, which Jersey Housewife to hate, etc.  I think you get my drift.  So, in anticipation of our daughter's birth, we decided to produce a one hour special called "The Chosen", where a panel of celebrity interviewers would pose questions to Anita and I regarding our name choice for our baby girl.  BTW, in case you were wondering, People Magazine won the bidding war to publish the first photos of our daughter.  As some of you may know, the name choice has been a closely guarded secret much like Barack Obama's birth certificate that states that he was born in Hades [according to Sean Hannity], or the "666" birthmark on Karl Rove's left butt cheek, or the true circumstances surrounding Elvis' death (TMD, Too Many Donuts) [according to my older brother].

We chose Barbara Walters, Larry King, Ali G and Howard Stern to conduct the interview/host the show because of their excellent celebrity interviewing abilities.  The transcript will follow in my next post.

Don't You Forget About Me

I don't know where we went wrong.  Maybe it was the time that I pretended like I was quitting the blog for an April Fool's joke.  Or could it have been my lack of updates over the last few months?  Either way, less and less people seem to tuning into the blog.  I confess that it has been discouraging at times, ok, most of the time.  But there are times that I find encouragement, like when I see comments or 1 or >1 LOL ratings.

Anita's due date is coming up and we have decided on the name.  I'm not giving clues or saying anything until the baby arrives.  I mean, you people voted against the "Naming the Baby" reality series.  We still have a lot to do including breaking Ivana's will.  She must sense impending doom and possibly the end of her reign as the benevolent ruler of our household.  She really does keep it real in the suburbs.  But when I say "real" i mean "real" like "Real Madrid" the premier soccer league team.  Yeah, I didn't feel like finding the Spanish accent to put over the "a" in "Real"  Are you tired of all the quotations?  Me too, but I allegedly have readers that are teachers and writers and grammar experts.  Ivana also has molars slowing coming in which lead to many "waking up in the middle of the night for 3 or 4 hours" episodes.

I'm going to leave you with the following offer:
If you promise to keep reading, I promise to keep posting and working hard for the >1 LOL's.

Independent Random Thoughts

Do you think that the whole BP oil spill mess was just a well orchestrated payback from England for the beatdown that we gave them in the Revolutionary War?  Hasheesh, they sure are a bunch of sore losers!

We celebrated Independence Day yesterday with our neighbors and we had fun.  Tonight, the Latino family that lives a house down from us were lighting fireworks in their driveway.  They must have been celebrating Cinco de Julio.

Our relatively new next door neighbors came to the 4th of July celebration.  The wife keeps talking about seeing snakes outside.  I haven't had the heart to tell her that I sometimes like to walk around the house naked.  Yeah, that's not a snake.

Do you ever wish that you could call up fictional TV characters for help?  If I could, I would have CTU Agent Jack Bauer on retainer to put a sleeper hold on Ivana when she refuses to nap.

Sorry for the delay in posting, but things at KIRITS have been pretty depressing.  The Blog is feeling the effects of the struggling economy and there have been many layoffs.  I have been told that if readership and/or followers don't increase, I could lose my job.  

Are we human?  Or are we dancer?

Yeah, that was probably weird, but I kind of love putting semi-annoying songs in people's heads.  I think I could listen to Johnny Cash sing his or any other person's songs.  His cover songs that he did before he died were tremendous.  I think he could have even made Starship's "We Built This City" tolerable to me.

I have received exactly zero questions at realkept@gmail.com.  Throw me a bone please!!!!!