Celebrity NFL PIcks

Today I am introducing something that I intended to start 7 weeks ago:  Celebrity NFL picks.  We had a very successful two week run a while back in my Fantasy Football League and today, I invited one of the celebrity prognosticators back:  Tina Yothers from "Family Ties".  I need to caution you.  From time to time, she thinks that she really is Jennifer Keaton, the 3rd kid in the Keaton Family.  So bear with her.

Without further adieu, I present Tina Yothers:

I have to do this quickly because I have homework and mom will kill me if I don't get it done.

San Francisco is favored by 2.5 over Denver and they are playing in London.   I hear that a lot of gays in San Francisco.  Topical because I just found my mom is a gay [note:  Meredith Baxter, the actress that played Elyse Keaton just admitted that she became a lesbian in 2002].  Due to the transitive property that I learned in my math class, I love gays.  I'll take San Fran.

Dallas at home favored by 6.5 over Jacksonville.  The Jaguars remind me of a lot of my dad's friends from the 1960's, oh oops, those were the Panthers.  Dallas reminds me of the band "Dexy's Midnight Runners", underachievers.  
I'll take Jacksonville.

Detroit at home favored by 2.5 over Washington.  Dan Snyder, the owner of the Redskins, reminds me of Skippy Handelman, such a G*d d&mn nerd!!!!  I'll take Washington, nerds aren't so bad.

The New York Jets at home favored by 6 over Green Bay.  OMG!!!!  Mark Sanchez is sooooo cuuuute!!!!!  Yeah, I have a feeling that Aaron Rodgers is going to get beat up like that bully Adam that I beat up in episode 70:  "Designated Hitter".  I will take Green Bay though. Can somebody let Mark Sanchez know that I need a prom date????

St. Louis at home favored by 2 over Carolina.  The Panthers remind me of my dad's friends from the 60's.  I'll take St. Louis.

Cincinnati at home favored by 1 over Miami.  I mean, we lived in Columbus and when we were trying to find Colonel Crackle and win $5K, we thought he might have been in Cincinnati.   Therefore, I have to take  Cincy.

Kansas City at home favored by 7 over Buffalo.  I think Kansas City Tight End, Tony Moeaki, is mentioned quite a bit in Michael Jackson's song:  "Smooth Criminal" .... "Tony Moeaki, Moeaki, Moeaki Tony"  I love that song.  I'm taking Kansas City.

San Diego at home favored by 4 over Tennessee.  Norv Turner's coaching ability reminds me of my brother Alex nowadays .... really shaky [OMG, that was cold].  This is sooooo crazy but "Tennessee" was a song by the band Arrested Development.  "Arrested Development" was a show starring Mallory's real life brother, Jason Bateman!  OMG, what a small world!  I have to take Tennessee.

Arizona at home favored by 3 over Tampa Bay.  Arizona has a running back named Beanie Wells.  I love Beanie Babies, so I am taking Arizona.

Oakland at home favored by 2.5 over Seattle.  I heard that Oakland qb, Jason Campbell's ex teammates used to call him Lionel Richie.  "Helllooooo"???? I have to take Oakland.  Join me for a second
Tam bo li de say de moi ya
Hey Jambo Jumbo
Way to parti o we goin' 
Oh, jambali
Tam bo li de say de moi ya
Yeah, Jambo, jumbo

New England at home favored by 5.5 over Minnesota.  Brett Favre texted a pic of his junk to some chick.  Why come nobody texts me pics of their junk?  Now, I'm not insinuating anything, but Favre likes to give balls away to "the other team" with alarmingly frequency.  I will take New England, although I wish Tom Brady's wife made him wear the hairstyle of the Flock of Seagulls.

New Orleans at home favored by 1 over Pittsburgh.  Pittsburgh's quarterback Ben Rothlesberger reminds me of Dad's friend Arthur who made a pass at my sister Mallory.  But he also reminds me of my brother Alex playing Monopoly ... he always wins.  I'll take Pittsburgh.

Indianapolis at home favored by 5.5 over Houston.  Peyton Manning reminds me of Mallory's boyfriend, Nick.  Except the only thing that Peyton Manning hasn't tried to sell is light bulbs over the phone like Nick.  I will take Houston.

Ok, see you later, I need to go finish my homework.

Thank you Jennifer, for your picks and I hope you tune in next week for the next Celebrity NFL Picks

Sleep is Underrated

Today is my brother Jay's birthday.  In honor of his birthday as well as the 3 month mark of our second daughter Isla's birth, I make my triumphant return to the blogosphere.  I wanted to take a moment to pay homage to my brother Jay.  I have to say that he is and has been a great role model to follow in the art of fatherhood.  Ok, enough of the mushy stuff.

People around the world have been wondering WTF happened to the KIRITS Blog for the last 3 months.  Well, I can tell you WTF happened.  Like Julius said in "Pulp Fiction", I have been wandering the earth like Caine from "Kung Fu".  However, I have been searching for sleep.  Not just sleep, but UNINTERRUPTED sleep.  Now I know why zombies are such pissed off jerks ... PEOPLE KEEP INTERRUPTING THEIR SLEEP!!!!  [fyi, the zombies in the "Thriller" video were pissed off because MJ woke them all up because he kept clearing his throat]

I have always said sleep is overrated, because you can function with little sleep.  But that sleep can't be broken into compartments.  It needs to be a steady 2-4 hours.  Now, I'm not upset about a lack of uninterrupted sleep.  It goes with the territory.  However, I have become a lot more crabby lately which is not normal for me unless it was a Monday after a Redskins game for the last 20 years.  I seem to be cussing a lot more now too.  In fact, I was sitting on my couch with Ivana and she was eating some dry cereal in a bowl and she knocked the bowl over and I said in a kind voice, "Ivana".  She interrupted me with two words that would really upset a nun:  God D@mmit!   Oh boy, although funny at the time to hear, it probably wouldn't go down in the "proud moments" list.

With two kids now, we have to find that balance in that we can't let them sleep near each other for fear of one waking the other.  It's a delicate balance where if you screw it up, you end up flipping the channels in the family room with Ivana searching for episodes of "Kipper the Dog" and then stumbling across infomercials for the "Shake Weight".  Oh, I have some funny stories about the "Shake Weight" to tell, but you will have to tune in to the blog.  In fact, I have a lot of catching up to do and I hope you will stick with me.   I promise to do my best to keep you entertained.

(Updated 10/31/10 at 12:09 PM)  I wanted to give a quick "sleep" related story.  Last weekend, Anita and I were watching the updated version of "Robin Hood", the one with the Australian guy doing and English accent as opposed to the Kevin Costner version of an American attempting an English accent for one scene and then giving up.  We fell asleep on the couch about an hour or so into it.  When we woke up, I got up but couldn't feel my right leg, so I stumbled down and almost into the tv because my whole leg had fallen asleep. These are the dangers of sleeplessness.